Safeway remodel.

The Safeway at King Boulevard & Ainsworth is billing itself as having undergone a remodel that necessitates a ‘grand reopening’:

Once you get inside, you find that the main difference between the old Safeway and the new one is that there are balloons everywhere…

..which really is wonderful. There were hundreds of balloons to choose from, gawk at, or ignore; this store has really become a Mylar wonderland, and I’m sure neighbors for miles around are relieved and excited about this newfound proximity to such a variety of balloons.

I suspect that much of the signage in stores is designed to make you feel stupid (in a variety of ways – depthful thought is antithetical to shopping, and no retailer is going to go out of its way to encourage it, to say the least). Here’s an example that lets you know, straight up, that you can’t even choose between 15% fat hormone-laden, drug-resistant-staphylococcus-infused ground beef, and its less-juicy 8% brethren, without some advice:

Wandering over to the ‘fresh from the oven’ section of the store, we find ourselves staring at a… pig cake? and pig cupcakes? Can it be? I can’t be sure… all I know is that while these designs are both ugly in theory and wretched in practice, they lack the special panache that would qualify them for Cake Wrecks.  Let’s call them wanna-be cake wrecks:

In the aisles, things look much the same, except for more stupid signage than before (“One Chip For Mankind!” in the snack aisle was my favorite). And then there’s this puzzlement:

A blown-up image of the cover of Fitness magazine, hovering over the Ruffles chips, screaming BLAST MORE FAT! Gentle readers, I wonder if, seeing this,  your minds wandered back to the by-gone days of Olean…

An unbroken line of plastic water bottles under the ‘meals to go’ sign. I don’t think any comment would do this justice.

Before we move to the outside of the new & improved Safeway, I want to give you a look at the current egg display. I wonder if Annie finds this display easier to use:

In the telephone booth outside, there a picture of the puppy that was stolen from outside the store a couple of weeks ago, aww:

Down with puppythieves!

Meanwhile, all those plastic bottles, and other recyclables? They end up in the rivers, or the oceans; or behind the Safeway in bins, if we’re lucky:

You can smell the odor of this bin just from the photo, can’t you:

I leave you today with One Last Thought. The gentleman who entered the store at the same time as I wore a jacket with a patch with this band’s name on it. This is a strange and beguiling world we live in!

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